Turning middle-aged

Me: Nairobi, Kenya

Him: Nairobi, Kenya

Raspberry: Nairobi, Kenya

Distance: 0km

When my brother-in-law turned 35 my mother-in-law gleefully told him that he was now officially middle-aged. Now it's my turn, I thought I would share some lessons I have picked up along the way.

0-10 Years:

1. Being a big sister to multiple siblings is literally the best thing ever. A ready (albeit not always willing) troupe of actors, audience for new stories, and guinea-pigs for made-up games.

2. Not everyone understands or appreciates my art, as I discovered when my playgroup teacher expressed concern that "Beth only paints in black."

3. You are not required to respect someone just because their job-title or position technically makes them a figure of authority. At parents-evening my Reception teacher, Miss Yates, complained I treated her like a tool and only talked to her if I needed something. 'Yes,' I thought smugly, aged 5, 'That's because she is a tool.'

4. If you daydream in class you can accidentally end up volunteering to be an Indian squaw, rather than the Hawaiian dancer that you (and all the other girls) really want to be.

5. Books are magic. They can transport you to new worlds.

6. Telling the time is really, really hard. And just when you get the hang of it, they go and change it to 24-hours.

7. Absolute joy is when your Mum buys you a school summer dress like everyone else has, rather than making you one that is a slightly different shade of yellow and fastens with Velcro.

8. The tooth-fairy and Santa Claus should be treated with extreme caution. Where possible, send delegates to negotiate on your behalf.

9. No matter how many Enid Blyton books you may read, you cannot guarantee to find a mystery and/or adventure in your home's new extension.

10. Anything important should be scheduled. Such as who gets to sit next to Dad on the bench at dinner time.

11-20 Years:

11. Shakespeare got it wrong; there is a lot in a name. Changing from 'Beth' to 'Elizabeth' and then from 'Elizabeth' to 'Liz' ushered in new life-eras.

12. A small group of close girlfriends is one of the most important things in the world.

13. There is literally nothing more boring than learning scales.

14. There is more alcohol in Barcardi Breezers than I gave them credit for.

15. Studying for exams is more fun when your biro smells of strawberries.

16. I am not immune to failure, but sometimes failure can bring unforeseen richness. Not getting into university and ending up living and working in London changed the course of my life.

17. Kissing the right boy for the first time is absolutely breathtaking.

18. I have the skin-tone for neither raven-black nor platinum blonde hair.

19. Life is to be seized. Holidays are not for going back to your parents' home and hanging out in your sixth form pub. They are for work and travel in America, Eastern Europe, Tanzania, and India.

20. For some, university is a hedonistic time of drugs, sleeping through lectures, and getting home at 5am. For me it was more about doing the hokey-cokey with a pantomime cow, an obscene amount of baking, and creating inventive reasons to dress up.

21-30 Years:

21. If I could choose anyone in the world for parents, it would be my Mum and Dad.

22. There is no better town to live in in your early 20s than London, and there is no better part of London than the North-West.

23. Living your best life is when you get home and find your flatmate has already crawled out of the window and is sitting on the roof with a bottle of wine. Yes the sweet, sweet smell of Chicken Cottage may be floating up from below, but if you ignore this you can feel quite poetic as you watch the sun set over the rooftops of London.

24. If there are any hard decisions to be made, write them out. Trust yourself, even when others may not understand.

25. Big life changes come with big life rewards. Don't be afraid to make them.

26. I am a feminist. I thought the concept was unnecessary in this day and age, growing up in the privileged bubble I had. I then moved to East Africa and started to understand just how lucky I'd been.

27. Getting married to the right person is the best thing someone can do.

28. Almost anything seems better after a run.

29. The worst sound in the world is the neighbours' generator when living in the tropics.

30. The balance between physical and mental health is a hard one, and at times a battle. But a battle that must be fought.

31-35 Years:

31. Choosing to add long-distance to a marriage is not a choice that should be made lightly. But having made that choice, I consider myself insanely lucky to have a husband that supported me through what was ultimately a pretty selfish decision.

32. Never trust anyone who said they went to 'B-school'.

33. I am literally the worst unemployed person ever.

34. Many of my absolute favourite people live in different countries and continents. And that is pretty tough, but it is also OK.

35. I want to be everything at once, but I haven't figured out how to yet. My current struggle is balancing a desire to be an ass-kicking feminist career-women whilst pregnant, but also really seeing the allure of the Victorian confinement period.